Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have post one night stand depression
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