Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
