HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
