There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
