So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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