Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
