Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
