Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
