Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
