I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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