I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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