Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
