I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
