Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
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Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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