Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We need a shit load of segways right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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