We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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