So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
