Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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