Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize