I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
