i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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