wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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