is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
