hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize