Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
