Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
