btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
