Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
