ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize