it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We are two peas in an std pod
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
