when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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