Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
