I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
