just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
