I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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