Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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