Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
