Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
