Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
