absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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