he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
