we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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