Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
