Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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