what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
