a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
