I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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