I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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