About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
