dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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