People with herpes should wear stickers.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
