You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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