we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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