you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
