Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
