Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
