So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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