Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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