Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
