I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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