her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
