In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
