I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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