in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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