He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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