I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
