i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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